What is the concept of self love?

By star




What is the concept of self love?

One of the definitions that I found was “regard for one’s own well-being and happiness (chiefly considered as a desirable rather than narcissistic characteristic)”.

It is important to emphasize that the term “Self-Love” has a positive connotation.

Sometimes we get caught up with life that we forget to practice self-love. It happens quite easily, because we are so busy that we don’t realize we forgot to put our own needs first.

Many people give it all for their family or significant others. They work hard so that their children can assist the best schools. It is also important to have all their family’s needs taken care off:  a home, a car, food on the table, treats here and there, etc. It makes us truly happy to be able to provide for them. That’s why we somehow put self-love in the back burner and carry on doing what we do.

But, at what point do we act “selfishly” and invest in ourselves?  When do our needs become our number one priority? We set them aside and continue going through life giving everything we have to people around us.

You should treat yourself with self-compassion. It involves treating yourself with the same kindness, concern, and support you’d show to a good friend, family member or significant other (Greenberg, 2017).  Dr. Greenberg states that there are three related aspects to self-compassion:

  1. Mindfulness
  2. Self-Kindness
  3. Common Humanity

By teaching self-compassion, she believes she can transform people’s lives, helping them to live healthier lifestyles. It is effective in changing behaviors and makes it easier to motivate yourself.

I think that the proper way to understand that something isn’t well is to look inside yourself. To notice emotional distress. You can feel it: it is a loss of balance between your wellbeing and something that isn’t quite right. You are doing all that you need to be doing: going through the motions, yet, in your heart you are not satisfied.

That’s the clue that proper action needs to be taken. Shame and self-criticism lead to inner rebellion and giving up (Greenberg, 2017).  There are lots of way to practice self-love.  One is setting person al goals and working on getting them done.

Let’s be a little more specific, and I truly hope I am not stepping on any toes here because I don’t want anyone to feel bad about themselves. I want to be able to speak honestly, from an open heart to another… How many of you out there are embarrassed by your teeth? Maybe your teeth function fine, but aesthetically it is not what you wish. Some of you won’t spend the money on yourselves thinking that it would be better spent on something else.

I have also spoken to friends and patients who have confided in me, telling me that they didn’t really notice at what point their smile (or their partner’s) embarrassed them. My friend was showing me a video of her ex-boyfriend and she was quick to state that when they were dating 3 years ago, his teeth didn’t look as stained and crooked as they do now.  I have also heard people say that they knew they didn’t have perfect teeth for a long time, yet they could still eat and function properly.  Suddenly the pain they started to feel made them aware of the state their teeth were in. This made them feel self-conscious and they no longer felt comfortable smiling, speaking or eating in front of their partners, friends and family.

What does self-love have to do with the state of your mouth and your relationships?

The way you feel determines the way you act. Your emotional state is perceived by others. If you are high-strung or depressed, it will cause strain in your relationships.

No man is an island. By giving love to yourself, you are also showing love to the people around you.

Next time you look in the mirror, think about yourself. Think about your loved ones. Make the final decision to get the dental treatment that you so urgently need.

Do it so that you can feel free to laugh again; To share a meal; To spend quality time with your loved ones. Feel free to enjoy what life has to offer.

Do it for yourself. Do it for your friends and family.

Do it for love.



Greenberg, M. PHD. 2017. 8 Powerful Steps to Self-love. Acessed Febuary 2019. Phsicology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-mindful-self-express/201706/8-powerful-steps-self-love